i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
we made out on top of his cat.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Help me help you realize you are a moron
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
