He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
