wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
