I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
