How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
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