I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
