I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
