yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
