dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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