Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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