I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
