Please don't use social media to get back at me.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
