You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
