Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
We don't watch enough power rangers
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
