Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
