im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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