better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
