her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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