Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
