I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
