feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
