she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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