Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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