my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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