Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
