they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
