I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
