It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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