when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
home. puking in laundry basket.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
