Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
