Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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