I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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