He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
