It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
