Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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