so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
