I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
