Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
