I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
