READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
