I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
