I want to stick my p in your. b.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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