I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
