That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
