he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
So vagazzling was a success
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
