Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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