i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
