oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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