ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
