Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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